March 15, 2009

Not My Fault!

One of the biggest challenges in life, is where things go wrong. If not quite wrong, then at least not quite to plan.

Many people in these situations, whether it be a bigger picture life thing or just the small twists and turns of each of our day-to-day activities, find it much easier to blame others – sometimes, for almost everything!

Taking responsibility for each of our own lives is vital, if we are to see a way forward in a constructive way – a way where we take control.

It’s much easier – and very common – to blame someone else for the way difficulties and challenges in our lives show up. The truth most often is, that we are responsible for the life we end up with.

And by blaming others, we take away the honest truth, that we bring onto ourselves what we deserve from the actions – or lack of actions – that we subject ourselves to.

This happens in the workplace too. Whether you are a manager or an employee (or as is most common of all, both!), what you get is most often what you deserve from the position you put yourself in.

‘My boss is useless’; ‘No-one cares about me at work’; ‘It’s really tough here and getting worse’; and ‘I can’t trust my people to do anything right’, are amongst the phrases I hear, that people make when their workplace isn’t working right.

The truth is, in life, that what you get, is down to your actions in all but the most extreme situations.

Just like redundancy is in the news all the time now. ‘It just isn’t fair’ might be a reflection on what is happening to some people. Yet again, there is no fairness about it!

Preparing yourself in advance for what ‘might happen’ is good thinking in these times.

And if you do find yourself in this situation, thinking deeply about ‘what’s next’ (see this article), will ensure that you have a positive focus.

Many times we hide ourselves from what is becoming the truth because it is easier to bubble along – the challenge of different, new actions and their consequences maybe seems to be far too difficult.

Once you are in that position, it is just not acceptable to blame you lot on anyone else. It’s down to you to create actions that provide the outcomes you want.

It’s down to you to ask yourself “What can I do”, and stop whining, taking personal responsibility and action.

What – is about the action you can decide on.

Can – accentuates the positive – more is possible than you might think!

I – is yes, about you and standing up for yourself.

Do – is the ‘getting on with it’ part and making that difference happen!

It’s pretty much never anyone else’s fault, even though you might like to think it is and yes, you can do something about it.

Filed under Blog, Managing Me by Martin

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